I have a Challenge for you… Let’s View Marriage and Couples Counseling Differently

At times couples counseling may be viewed in a negative light where problems become the focus. A couple may even feel they have hit rock bottom when they finally reach out for professional support. I have heard time and time again that seeking out couples counseling means you have problems, struggles, or issues. While problems do arise in relationships and are topics in counseling (and this is normal), it might just be a hard season of life that brings you into therapy. You may be adjusting to a new addition to your family, a recent move, or a child going to college. 

Adjustments are hard.

When you and your loved ones go through seasons of change, you might need a few tools or a new perspective to get through. Reaching out for professional support does not mean you have hit rock bottom.

Mental health services provide so many tools to promote progress when a couple may feel stuck. I often like to bring mental health into the physical world because I find it can be helpful. For example, a person experiencing physical pain may go to a medical professional for solutions or reach out to a chiropractor for an adjustment to allow them to live more comfortably. Adjustments are not dire needs or extravagant changes; however, you can take advantage of these helpful resources and take a step forward. Therapy can be a resource to allow you to navigate life’s curveballs more fluently. 

Outlook and attitude can also be challenged in counseling. I have often heard marriage takes work; Sure, maybe so.

I venture to say relationships take awareness followed by motivation and action to make positive change. And when I say awareness, I mean self-awareness not critically blaming one person for what is occurring in the relationship. 

Blame is unproductive and usually has a negative effect on the relationship. (Que Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror…)

The ebb and flow a person experiences day to day might be more convenient than this kind of self-reflection. I agree, at times the status quo is easier. However, when you choose the easy route, you may be in a place of tolerance. To overcome this, positive changes require each partner to have self-awareness, the ability to look inward, motivation to work on the relationship, and finally action. 

So, I have a challenge for you.

Be aware of yourself, acknowledge when you want a positive change, and accept the opportunity to make change possible for you, your marriage, and your family. It might be a tough season that brings you into therapy and it’s up to you to decide when the time feels right.